i dream far too much.

i like it.

to something far beyond myself

"Your name is glorious, glorious

Your love is changing us, calling us

to worship in spirit and in truth as all creation returns to you"

hello forgetful.

often times i wait for my heart to be where i'm going, rather than going there and taking my heart along.

not realizing the whole time that my heart is a polestar, pointing me to exactly what i find important.

Thank God that grace resounds off of our weakness and that his power is made perfect in my weakness.

i really wish i knew how to quiet my mind.

hello unknown.

honestly, when i think about the future i feel like i've been in a room with a sleeping lion for 8 hours; i know it's going to wake up at any moment.

and i'm wearing a shirt that smells like meat.

thank God i'm not the first.

"My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions"

Daniel 6:22a

i don't know why i continue to worry

it's amazing how weeks of deliberation can lead to nothing

but then, a single moment can change everything.

it's not that i now know, it's that i'm okay with not.

i realized tonight that i have a tendency to turn points into rays; that i expect individual moments to span out into eternity. by this i am simply referring to my tendency to expect my current circumstance to remain indefinitely. for example: when you're sick and you don't remember what it's like to feel okay. or, when feeling really depressed it's easy to forget happiness.

i suppose i have a longing for the eternal, but what i fail to realize is that i'm following the eternal.

how insulting that must be; going to see God's glory and stopping to marvel at a colorful pebble i've found along the way.

what a fool.

i want to be unconditional.

hello captive.

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

John 8:34-36

this is something i need to be reminded of on an almost constant basis. it seems rather pathetic when i think about it that i have to reminded of my freedom and the fact that i no longer exist as a slave to anything but my eventual righteousness...

i don't devote enough of myself to the righteousness that i say i pursue, which reminds me of another verse:

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

2 Timothy 3:1-5


i have nothing more to say, unless you count my future actions as words (which you hardly could because they should speak much louder)

hello free.

spectators sport

hello unloved.

today i sat on the sidelines of my own life and watched. and hated it.

i have no excuse. i have no reason.

a permanent proof of a temporary existence

hello forgotten.

recently i've been thinking/praying a lot about a calling that's existed for a while as embers exist long after a fire has gone out. however, these particular embers were fortunate enough to catch a gust of wind strong enough to reignite they're almost extinguished dying selves. we'll go ahead and call that gust of wind mexico, for sake of clarity. it's interesting to me how sometimes things fall (whether together or apart) in perfect time with our needs. God is amazing like that i suppose. He really is with us, walking alongside. i think that He truely gets excited (probably more so than us) when we are walking with Him, and things begin happen. great things.

i suppose it's really no mystery at all when you can see all of time in a single glance, but for me... from where i'm standing (in the middle of the trees that have yet to become a forest to me) i stand amazed.

as for me and the next __+ years, i will be serving the one who sees infinitely more than me, who sees not only the the forest, but the land in which the forest lies, and the work on which the land lies... and the universe in which the planet lies... and everything outside of that.

it seems like a good idea to me at least



"Oh, doubters, let's go down... let's go down, won't you come on down?
Oh, doubters, let's go down... down to the river to pray.
'Oh, but I'm so small I can barely be seen... how can this great love be inside of me?'
Look at your eyes.... they're small in size, but they see enormous things."
-mewithoutYou "four word letter pt.2"