it's funny how the path we take leads us to the destination we arrive at.




sometimes going back in time and smacking myself seems like the best option

other times continuing is the best.




"forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead"
-philippians 3:13b


and to a certain (potential) reader out there: yes. i miss you and like you and yes. yesyesyesyes.

goodnight gentle love

it's days like today

that make you realize that everything is out of your control

and you can't help but think "i'm completely ok with all of this"

today should be good. this large low pressure system promises a lot of rain, which i gotta say, i'm completely okay with. work at the elementary school was canceled, again, okay with it. cherry will be rough tonight because of a sore throat.

and now to take a hard look at what defines me, and what i let influence me.


sometimes i wonder why i am where i am. then i look around.. what i carry with me, what i hold on to, what i let go of

suddenly where i am makes sense. scary

oh the many ways i'm silenced by the plank in my own eye.

glory.

after arriving home last night a flash in the sky caught my eye.
i was lying down on my driveway looking up at the clouds above.

they were soaked red from light pollution and were making haste across the sky. i thought "how beautiful is tonight? look at this glorious sky"

then the flash happened again. a giant cloud that took up most of the horizon i could keep in my periphery was unveiled from the night be a great flash of lightning. the immensity of the cloud revealed by it's own glory.
then as quick as it could be seen, it disappeared again into the dark.

the longer it was that i looked for this cloud and the more the lightning shown it, the easier it was to see.


How can i live for myself and for Christ?
i can't.

"He must become greater; I must become less." john 3:30



the longer we look at Christ the more revealed he is to us.

single minded

oh that i may gaze upon your beauty oh Lord



that i may see your holy face



that i may know you in an intimate way



and follow after you all of my days

i am nothing, Christ is everything.
the very lips that spoke the entirety of the cosmos into existence speaks to our hearts, romancing and pursuing us
how is that not worth surrendering your life?
honestly i can't tell you. but yet i decide, almost daily, that it isn't.


i am wrong.