it's amazing how weeks of deliberation can lead to nothing

but then, a single moment can change everything.

it's not that i now know, it's that i'm okay with not.

i realized tonight that i have a tendency to turn points into rays; that i expect individual moments to span out into eternity. by this i am simply referring to my tendency to expect my current circumstance to remain indefinitely. for example: when you're sick and you don't remember what it's like to feel okay. or, when feeling really depressed it's easy to forget happiness.

i suppose i have a longing for the eternal, but what i fail to realize is that i'm following the eternal.

how insulting that must be; going to see God's glory and stopping to marvel at a colorful pebble i've found along the way.

what a fool.